Chicken Soup for the Soul
Changing your life one story at a time®
www.chickensoup.com
Table of Contents
Introduction, Deborah Norville
~Live in the Moment~
1. Facing the Fear, Amy Newmark
2. A Splash of Perspective, Marcus A. Nelson
3. A Plague of Joy, Heidi Allen
4. Positive to the End, Matt Chandler
5. Notice, Appreciate, Multiply, Jude Walsh
6. My Basement, Nancy Merczel
7. The Light in the Produce Section, Jodi Whitsitt
8. Opening the Door to Joy, Kim Johnson McGuire
9. A Stone’s Throw, David Warren
~Count Your Blessings~
10. A Change in Focus, R’becca Groff
11. Thanksgiving x 100, M. Scott Coffman
12. Yogurt, Jamie Coombs
13. Choosing Gratitude, Mary Potter Kenyon
14. When “Have To” Becomes “Get To” Victoria Otto Franzese
15. Reach Out, Kathleen Gerard
16. My Gladitude Journal, Ann Morrow
17. The Day Courage Sat in the Barber’s Chair, Judythe Guarnera
18. Comparing Lists, Vicki L. Julian
~Give It a Try~
19. From Dread to Dream, Lindsay Detwiler
20. The Now, Diana Lynn
21. A Winning Smile, Eva Carter
22. The Doctor Is In, Donna L. Roberts
23. Simple Courage, Tracy Crump
24. Can’t Is a Four-Letter Word, Brenda Beattie
25. Yes, I Will, Jennifer McMurrain
26. Seeing with Your Heart, Mark Mason
27. Just Start, Heather Spiva
~The Power of Attitude~
28. A New Way of Thinking Big, Kerrie R. Barney
29. Biking to Life, Ingrid Tomey
30. Playing All the Angles, Darrell Horwitz
31. I’m Wonderful! Kristine Byron
32. How I Rebuilt My Life Using the Joy Test, Joyce Lombardi
33. Happiness Is an Inside Job, Tom Guetzke
34. Right Turn Only, S.K. Naus
35. Think Like a Winner, Bobbie Jensen Lippman
36. I Woke Up This Morning, Frederick Loomis
37. Darkness & Light, Jennifer Loomis Kennedy
~The Words That Changed My Life~
38. On Roses and Life, Dana Drosdick
39. A Simple Change, Courtney Wright
40. The Ice Cream Truck, Samantha LaBarbera
41. Why Not? Gwen Cooper
42. Everything We Need, Diane Morrow-Kondos
43. Serendipity, Suzette Martinez Standring
44. Happy Cells Are Healthy Cells, C. L.
45. The Can Man, Sarah Wagner
46. Could I Trouble You? Karen Haueisen Crissinger
47. Never Too Old, Jen Chapman
~From Lemons to Lemonade~
48. A Positive Message from a Time Traveler, Nick Walker
49. A Little Exercise Class, Kristen Mai Pham
50. Filling a Need, Carole Brody Fleet
51. On Hair with ’Tude, Ina Massler Levin
52. Coffee with Dad, Cheryl M. Scott
53. Even a Cold Fish Needs Love, Wendy J. Hairfield
54. Halloween Heroes, Diane St. Laurent
55. Angelica, Melanie Chartoff
56. Snapshots, Perry P. Perkins
~Step Outside Your Comfort Zone~
57. How Losing My Home Improved My Life, Lisa Swan
58. The View from the Back Seat, Joan M. Borton
59. The Review Is In, Carol L. MacKay
60. When the Blind Taught Me to See, Cher P. Garman
61. More Important than Fear, Connie K. Pombo
62. Oh, I’ve Always Wanted to Do That, “Sunny” Esther Valenzuela
63. Mommy, Molly and Magic, Stephanie Blank
64. Aftermath, Leah Cano
65. The Lake Weekend, Claire Chargo
~Find Your Inner Strength~
66. The Miracle of the Potatoes, Denise Del Bianco
67. Walking Back to Me, Amy Michels Cantley
68. Creating a New Story, Noelle C. Nelson
69. What’s Next? Linda Ruescher
70. Good Morning, Five Toes, Glenda Standeven
71. That Smile, Jim Grayson
72. Four Little Words, Laura Niebauer Palmer
73. Can’t Take My Smile, Sarah E. Morin
~Make Every Day Count~
74. Choosing Joy, Lori Ann King
75. A Simple Life Lesson, Lisa Leshaw
76. The Mickey Mouse Watch, Arthur Wiknik, Jr.
77. Hymns of Praise, Judee Stapp
78. The Bucket List, Lori Kempf Bosko
79. Think Like a Dog, Lauren Mosher
80. What My Children Have Taught Me, Mimi Greenwood Knight
81. You Are More Than You Know, Mindi Ellis
82. What I Wouldn’t Give… Amanda Sue Creasey
~Reboot Your Life~
83. From the Depths to the Heights, Brian Narelle
84. The Dancing Rabbi, Sue Ross
85. Big Red Divorce Boots, Diane Morrow-Kondos
86. Never Give Up on Your Dreams, Carol C. Lake
87. I Don’t Have Arthritis, Monica A. Andermann
88. Dragonflies, Celeste Bergeron Ewan
89. Born at Age Fifty-Five, Barbara Bartocci
90. Repairing Brokenness, Jody Fuller
91. A Little Birdie Told Me, Lacey L. Bakker
92. The Right Dream, Pam Phree
~Make a Difference~
93. Mindfulness Matters, Adam Avin
94. Happy Thankful Thursday! LaTonya Branham
95. A Bethany Blessing, Elaine Marie Cooper
96. Operation Sunshine, Jan Hopkins-Campbell
97. #MakeaStrangersDay, Jodi Renee Thomas
98. Warm from the Inside Out, Frances R. McGuckin
99. Leading the Fire Drill, Judy Lee Green
100. 90,000 Doughnuts, Sheena Carach
101. A Place to Call Home, Jack Byron
Meet Our Contributors
Meet Amy Newmark
Meet Deborah Norville
Thank You
About Chicken Soup for the Soul
Share with Us
Introduction
There’s a lot of truth to that old Yiddish saying: “Man plans… God laughs.” Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could also find a way to laugh when the plans we have so carefully laid out go awry? To not be enraged, frustrated, and despondent — or worse — when the news isn’t good, the prognosis grim, or the future seems bleak.
Sometimes you need an example to follow. There are times when a role model is required, someone to emulate as you try to pick yourself up, take that deep breath and find a way to move forward. Not move on — but move forward.
Moving forward. It’s an important distinction — and very different from moving on. My friend who lost her husband in the terror attack of September 11th taught me that. I had said something about moving on and she quickly corrected me. You don’t move on, she explained. You move forward from challenge or grief or disappointment.
Grief doesn’t go away. That feeling of loss is always there — subdued perhaps, but ever present as you move forward.
Forward. To a new destination. Forward to happy. A place where it’s different and where whatever left you needing to think positive and hoping to live happy, well that situation isn’t there. IT stayed behind as YOU moved forward.
We’ve all been there. There are unlimited ways to be thrown for a loop: Your spouse is in love — but not with you. They’ve diagnosed your illness — but don’t know how to cure it. Unemployment is at record lows — but you can’t find a job and th
e bills keep coming.
Perhaps it’s less dramatic: you just feel sad, your friends seem to have abandoned you, the days seem… pointless.
Years ago, my depression was there for the world to see. My high profile network job was over. I felt I would never work in television news again and the TV pundits agreed. “Left for dead by the side of the road,” was how one newspaper critic described me. I might have remained by that career roadside if I hadn’t gotten inside my own head and worked to change my mindset and get myself back on track.
The key word there is WORK. If you’ve ever experienced a melancholy moment, you know it’s very easy to slide back to that unhappy place. (At this point, the journalist in me says that, for some, it’s important to get professional help. In my own case, I got myself back on track by changing my outlook. I did my own brand of cognitive behavioral therapy.) Books like this one — Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive, Live Happy — can be an important tool to help you change your outlook and get on the right track.
Somewhere among the 101 stories Amy Newmark and I have selected from the thousands that were submitted, you will find the message that’s right for you. If you’re just looking for a little pick-me-up to brighten your day, you’ll find it. If you’re feeling trapped and afraid to venture outside your comfort zone, we’ve got inspiration for you. And some of the stories in these pages will have you re-examining the way you look at the world.
Not everything’s always the way it seems. That’s the lesson Perry Perkins delivers in “Snapshots.” He tells the story of an older gentleman sitting alone at the diner. A mother and daughter enter and spot him and Perry hears them talking in hushed tones about how sad the old man must be, sitting there by himself. What Perry knows, but the mother and daughter don’t, is that twelve of the man’s friends have just left the restaurant. They had shared a meal and the room had been filled with the sound of their laughter, jokes, and teasing. Now that old man is sitting alone, but he is basking in the afterglow of breakfast enjoyed with friends.
How often have you heard the word no? And how often have you said it to yourself: “No, I’ll never do that.” Whether it’s the voice inside your head or some person trying to dissuade you, we’ve all had roadblocks put in front of us. Brenda Beattie’s story called “Can’t Is a Four-Letter Word” and Jennifer McMurrain’s story “Yes, I Will” both remind us that we can prevail if we just keep going. Brenda persisted in the face of doubters who said she’d never land the government job that would provide financial security for her family. And Jennifer literally climbed a mountain of doubt as her skeptical family wondered how she’d complete a challenging hike. “Yes, I will,” Jennifer repeated to herself as she put one foot in front of the other. You’ll have a smile on your face as you read how that story ends.
Would being more bold bring you happiness? Lori Kempf Bosko’s “The Bucket List” will inspire you to push your own limits. Some people have bucket lists of goals they hope to accomplish before they die. Lori makes a 100-item bucket list every year! Some goals might seem laughingly simple, while others, like a trip to Rome, seem impossible. By the time the new year rolls around, Lori has ticked off almost every item on her list and she’s ready to make a new one.
But the most inspiring story might be our first. It’s called “Facing the Fear” and it comes straight from the heart of the woman who embodies the spirit of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. Her readers know Amy Newmark as the editor-in-chief and publisher of the books they love. She is also a soul sister among those of us who’ve had to face cancer.
Amy is one of the most organized people you’ll ever meet and her very scheduled life called for her to edit Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive, Live Happy along with five thousand other things. That’s when God laughed and sent a challenging form of cancer her way. Fear goes hand in hand with cancer. Turns out, the positivity and gratitude that are the foundation of Chicken Soup for the Soul were exactly what the doctor ordered when Amy sought help to deal with the panic that sometimes swept over her. It takes courage to be as candid as Amy is. I think her story will help you be brave and remind you to savor every moment.
Relish each of these 101 happy moments that come from thinking positive. Go out and make your own memories and celebrate that happiness. Recognizing that you ARE happy today helps ensure that you will continue to live happy tomorrow and all the days after that.
—Deborah Norville—
Live in the Moment
Facing the Fear
We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable.
It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends and living our lives.
~Maya Angelou
The psychiatrist said, “Tell me why you’re here. Do you need drugs?”
“No!” I said. “Even after my surgery I only took Tylenol and Advil. I’m here because I need some pointers on how to deal with the fear. The oncologist thought you might help me develop a strategy.”
I was seeing this doctor at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center because I am in remission from a cancer with a high rate of recurrence… and when it recurs, that’s basically it. You’re going to be on chemo for the rest of your life, whether that’s twenty years or twenty months.
My five months of chemo had ended two months earlier, and now I was in the waiting period. The kind of cancer I had — fallopian tube cancer — is rare, but it’s basically like ovarian cancer; it’s just that the tumor grows in a different place. My ovaries were actually clear, as were all my lymph nodes, but this type is treated exactly the same as ovarian cancer. And the statistics are the same, too — awful. One day, as I was sitting in the chemo chair waiting to start a six-hour treatment, the oncologist thought she was imparting good news when she said, “Twenty percent of Stage 3 and 4 patients don’t have a recurrence!”
She left and I burst into tears, causing a flurry among the nurses. Of course, every time I walked into that building, no matter how nice the staff was, I cried.
But the fact that there was an 80% chance the cancer would come back was pretty daunting. Now, I’m a math person, and a negotiator. So I conducted a private negotiation with the statistics. It went like this: The surgeon was surprised at how little cancer he found; the 20/80 statistics are for Stage 3 and Stage 4 combined, so it must be better for Stage 3ers with a light case like mine; my CA-125 [cancer marker] was extremely low when I was diagnosed and dropped to normal after the very first chemo.
I explained my excellent reasoning to the oncologist at the end of my first post-chemo appointment, asserting my belief that I should only have a 50% chance of recurrence instead of 80%. She stopped as she exited the exam room and said in a pacifying way, “Sure, let’s go with that.”
So, I will. Even so, how do you deal with a 50% chance that you’ll learn sometime in year two or year three of your remission that the cancer is back? That’s where I am now — hoping to be in the lucky 50% who are cured. Hoping to never go through the exhausting, painful, debilitating, time-sucking process of chemo again. Hoping not to die in middle age.
The psychiatrist asked a bunch of routine questions about my life. When I talked about my late mother, and how I had understood the root causes of her moodiness and had accepted it, she said that she rarely saw patients who had worked through that kind of issue prior to seeing a psychiatrist. I explained that it was because of my work at Chicken Soup for the Soul, that reading all the stories has taught me a lot about forgiveness and what makes people act the way they do. She asked me about negative or toxic influences in my life, and I explained that, again because of Chicken Soup for the Soul, I had already removed all the toxic people from my life. So that was another box checked.
She moved on to gratitude. Was there anything I was grateful for? That unleashed a very long list. I told her that I was grateful that my cancer responded right away to the chemo; that I had a “cold cap” to wear during chemo that allowed me to keep most of my hair; that MSK’s wor
ld-class care is only fifteen minutes from my home; that I have good health insurance and no financial worries. I was thankful that in-depth genetic testing showed no cancer genes — so I don’t have to worry I passed something on to my children. I told her how supportive my incredible husband and children are; that I couldn’t believe my luck that my doctor daughter chose OB/GYN as her specialty and could shepherd me through the process; and that my friends and co-workers have been wonderful.
At the end of our hour, the psychiatrist said that I already had the necessary tools and I didn’t need to come back. I had explained my initial strategy for calm and happiness — four vacations during the first six months after treatment, plus the fortuitous arrival of a new grandchild at the end of that period. After that, my plan was to continue taking fabulous vacations every other month for as long as I could, or forever if I turn out to be in the lucky 50%!
I still needed a strategy for dealing with the waves of panic that were hitting me. I decided that I’m only allowed to panic between 8 and 8:10 each morning. If I want to think about all the scary stuff (usually at night), I have to wait until 8 the next morning. Of course, I never end up having such morose thoughts at 8 in the morning.
And I am exercising, which is a great way to assert control over something in your life. I think of it as “paying myself first” and it takes precedence over work, or paying bills, or tidying the house. I had started doing strength training twice a week a few months before my diagnosis, and I kept it up during treatment, going twice a week even during the chemo weeks. I did one session the morning after chemo, when I was still on steroids and feeling good, and then another session after the four bad days that followed. I never missed a workout during my five months of chemo. And now I’ve added back in a three-mile walk several times a week. I’m actually feeling strong and healthy and energized.
My life is a strange mixture of planning for a short future and planning for a long one. I treated myself to a new car during my treatment, but took a three-year lease instead of buying it, because the salesman said that if you die while you have a lease your spouse can give the car back with no repercussions. My ten-year life insurance policy coincidentally expired right when I went into remission, and I re-upped at the insane price you have to pay if you’re not willing to go through a physical and disclose your illness. Yeah, I was betting on dying, but it was just an economic decision.